I AM going to lose weight

OK so when it happened a few years ago I was like “alright I can handle this, it is not to bad and life is not over” then a few years went by and things got better.  But BAM it happened again and it seems to be getting worse.  How could I have let it get this bad and is it to late to turn things around and get back to normal? Hell, what is normal anyway? I had this image in my head but that is never going to happen.  I can’t believe I have let my weight get away from me.  I don’t even like looking in the mirror anymore, and I used to LOVE taking pictures in the mirror. Now I can’t stand to look at myself.  I don’t like it and it is high time to change it.

Summer is around the corner and it gets hot upstairs, I am not going to feel comfortable walking around with shorts and a tank top on if I don’t get some weight off.  So here is the deal, it is going to happen.  I have to get off my rump and do something about it.  Maybe then a couple qualities about myself will change for the better as well.  Why am I doing this?

Well, it all started in high school. I liked being skinny (which means I get depressed when I look back at pictures), I wore a double zero size pants and I didn’t have a problem picking out shirts without trying them on.  Plus I had a nice plump butt and a rack to be proud of without the back aches.  Then I joined the military, during the summer I got a lot more muscle then I thought I would.  OK not a problem I still wear a single digit pants and my shirt size only changed one size.

OH crap, I just graduated and went away for some more training.  Yup, you got that right, I gained more weight. I didn’t like this at all, but I didn’t do anything about it. I worked, I went to school and I partied.  Years went by and I gradually had to buy bigger pants and shirts, soon enough I was sharing shirts with my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend).  I stayed there for awhile, didn’t gain or lose anything. I was sort of comfortable, I just chalked it up to growing up and filling out.  Then I went to work in a restaurant, long hours, no sleep and always at a club on the weekend.  I lost thirty pounds. Boy was I happy. YES finally I am smaller and I need more smaller clothes. This went on for almost a year.

There went that job, and now I am a stay at home “mom” ( we weren’t married yet).  Slowly the pounds came back, which made me sad so I would eat food to comfort myself and we all know how that cycle goes.

Oh wait honey, I am pregnant.  Gained over 30 pounds being pregnant.  Lost a little after Monster was born.  Lost a little more when I got my gall bladder taken out.  I work out pretty regularly now.  I should watch what and how much I eat as well but I don’t.  So why am I so pissed about it now? I am pissed because I know this is mostly my own fault, but mostly pissed cause I swore to myself many years ago that I would never break 200 pounds.  Went in for my birth control appointment and WHAM this lady is 201.8 pounds. Granted I was wearing my clothes, I just ate and I was a little bloated.  So we will say I was 200 flat.  That is not very many pounds away from my husband.

I am a short woman, 200 pounds does not look good on me. So now not only do I not like looking at myself but I don’t want to look in a mirror.  I am so mad at myself that I let it get this bad. I am even more mad that I can’t be mad at anyone but myself.  I am going to get myself out of this mess, I know it will take awhile and I will have to keep telling myself that. I am the type that likes things to get done now now now.

How am I going to do this?

Well that part I am still working on. I know I have to watch what I eat, how much I eat and when I eat. No more snack before bed. No more snacking while watching television. No more candy and I need to continue not to drink coffee or red bull (only slipped a total of 4 times between both since the beginning of the year).  I am also going to crank up the working out aspect. Instead of just working out twice a week I am going to work out more. I am going to do my class at the YMCA but I am also going to do stuff at home. Got a whole routine worked out and I am going to start today.

Did my work out for today but I will do more later tonight. Now I need to see progress so I am going to have my husband take shots of me.  Each side, front, back, left, right.  Then I will have him do it again each month so I can see the progress. I am going to get a tape measure and take my measurements around my body so I can see the numbers as well. I am getting pretty excited about this. I not only need to get healthy for myself (I seriously hate being fat, and that is exactly what I am now) but I need to be healthy for my kids. I need to be able to run around the yard with them.  Keep up with Monster when he learns how to walk then run.

I can’t believe I let myself get this bad, but at least I am going to change it. And I hope you are with my every step of the way. I will keep my followers updated on progress. Even upload the pictures so you can see it as well and I hope I can motivate or inspire some of you to get healthy as well.

I am optimistic that I will get smaller. My goal is to lose 50 pounds in 6 months.  That is  about 8 pounds a month I need to lose.  And after I lose it I will be keeping up on it.  So stay tuned.

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5 Replies to “I AM going to lose weight”

  1. Embrace a healthier lifestyle and don’t focus as much over weight. Eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables. Apples, grapes and carrots are perfect as a quick snack. I also enjoy the Lara bar. Keep working out, plenty of water and fresh snacks. Try not to eat after a certain time or sleep after eating. And font feel you have yo cut out the good stuff, have it in moderation. Also if you want a palette cleanser, juice for a few days. Food sort of taste weird afterwards. I’ve been juicing a few weeks now. Even my favorite snack of peanut butter and an apple is no longer savory.

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