September. The month when school starts. New year, new teachers, new beginnings. And for some students, a new school. My oldest is in that category. She will be starting middle school this year. For us that is sixth grade. Another step into the world, another step toward a future that only she can decide. It is a very frightening thought. But it is a necessary one.
She starts middle school. Man that is going to take some time to get used to thinking and saying. By the time I get used to it she will off to high school. But for now I am going to just focus on surviving middle school. Cause it is not just her who is affected. My husband is not voicing that he knows his first born is going into middle school. So this will be interesting. I have known my oldest since she was a baby. I remember her coming over to my house and saying that she started school. She was so excited that she couldn’t sit still.
In four days she goes off to a whole new school. My motherly instincts tell me to protect her. To drive her to school and make sure she gets to class on time. To help her make new friends and make sure she knows her way around school. But I know I shouldn’t do that. That if she is to excel in life and be independent, I need to stay home and just pray. Pray that she will be fine and get home safely. This is a big world and she will learn to navigate it sooner or later. Might as well start now. Still doesn’t help the fear I have, which is why we are getting her a cell phone for her birthday, she just doesn’t know it yet. She still has a lot of learning to get done, and I hope along the way she learns who she is as a person and grows into a wonderful woman. Because middle school is such an awkward stage in life.
A new school, new area, new teachers, and new everything. Not sure how I am going to wrap my head around it all. Probably why this post seems kind of everywhere. I was hoping if I wrote it all out that I would find clarity somewhere (not working as you can see). But ahead of her is a whole new world. And as much as I want to be there to do it for her I know that she needs to do it on her own. I will be here for guidance, opinions and tubs of ice cream when she gets her heart broken (hopefully that is some years off). Along with all this is a new area for me. The middle school attitude. The raging hormones. The periods. Crushes. PTSA meetings. Teachers who are difficult to work with and ones that are amazing. New for me as well..
The amazing thing with middle school and beyond is how much I have to be physically involved. Now is the time to bow out into the background. Be here when she needs me. Correct her when it deems fit and to make sure she stays on the path. But it goes beyond that. With the new systems they have in place I can watch her grades like a hawk from home. See what she is missing and if she really does have homework. Communicate with teachers without embarrassing her (though sometimes embarrassment is a good punishment, lets hope she doesn’t break curfew). Then there is PTSA (Parent Teacher Student Association). I can be involved without actually being involved. So I know what is going on around the school without snooping, or getting the eye roll. So much new stuff for me as well. Navigating this new area is going to be interesting. I just hope and pray that my husband comes out of his little funk and enjoys this ride with me. He has two more children to go through with this, so this is our test round.
So here is to new beginnings and growing together as a family and as individuals.