A Sister’s Worse Fear

OK, so I have been thinking about how to start this entry all day. Nothing seems right, nothing sounds right. Because what happened the last couple days should not happen to any family. I am going to tell my story because you never really hear it from the sisters point of view. Here it goes, my brother ran away from home Tuesday.

It was a terrifying feeling, getting a frantic call from my mom asking me to text my brother and see if he answers. He didn’t. While I was waiting for a response, my mom told me that my kid brother didn’t call at lunch or after school like he was suppose to. He had not called my step dad either. So she was really worried because this didn’t seem like him and the last couple days had been really good at home. When I told mom that there was no answer her voice started to break on the phone. She quickly let me go so she could call my step dad.

I was in a state of shock for about an hour. I think there might have been a few phone calls but I don’t remember. Around 8:30 pm my step dad calls and asks me to go over to their house and sit with mom so she didn’t lose it completely. So I rushed over there, after making sure the kids were set, to sit with mom and try to get more details out of her. Things had been off with my brother for awhile. Some of it is the normal teenage stuff and some is more deep then that (information I am not going to divulge cause its not my part of the story to tell). So my brother has had it kind of emotionally rough.

Apparently things were worse then any of us thought. After an incident a week ago, mom took my brother to the doctors to get some help. They diagnosed him with clinical depression. Never in my mind did I think he was clinically depressed. It was like a punch in the stomach. How could my little brother,my baby brother, be so upset that it went all the way to depression? How could my goofy, oddball, laughing at everything baby brother be so sad? So they prescribed him with an antidepressant. Mom started him on it during the weekend, four days before he ran away, everything seemed to be going fine.

I was thinking about all this while my mom went over the details of the day that lead up to us sitting in the living room waiting for the cops to show up. She said that Sunday was fine, he was wiped from the day and she figured that was why he didn’t answer her. He came home and relaxed then just shut down from exhaustion. Monday went fine as well, he woke up like a whole new kid. Good mood included. The medication the doctor prescribed for the depression was working. It made him hyper so he took it in the morning. Tuesday rolls around, in the morning everything seems fine. He leaves for school in his Air Force JROTC uniform. Mom says that he didn’t call at lunch like he was suppose to, and he didn’t call after school. So mom figures he was just off getting in trouble again. But then it gets dark.

That is when things turned for the worse. None of his friends had seen him, he wasn’t answering his phone and at some point it had been turned off. My step dad went out looking for him everywhere we could think of. Not a sign of him anywhere. Mom checked his room for any evidence that this was planned. All his money and clothes were accounted for and there was no note. Mom racked her brain trying to figure out where he was, why he had done this and when he would come home, if he would come home. It broke my heart to see her in such dismay.

The cops finally came to the house and took a report. After mom told them everything they put him in the system as a runaway. So if anyone saw him then they would bring him home. Eventually my step dad came back. No sign of my brother anywhere. All we could do at that point is wait. We were going to keep it small for awhile before we made everything public but then my cousin posted online that my brother was missing.

All of a sudden everyone knew. Mom was getting phone calls from family and friends who saw it online. People were re-posting what my cousin put up in hopes that he would be spotted or found. But still nothing. It went on like this all day on Wednesday. At 1:19 pm my step dad got a text from my little brother saying that he was alive and at a friends house, then he promptly turned his phone off so we could not call him. Then it was back to waiting.

But then we got a break. My step dad, his best friend, and my step sister all went out to look, try a new area. They were out for about forty five minutes and mom got a call. My step sister was on the phone talking a mile a minute about how they caught him, they got him, like he was a fish or something. About ten minutes later they all walked through the door.

It was a wave of relief when I saw my little brother walk through the door. I was not sure if I wanted to punch him or hug him first. I settled with just not talking to him. I was so shocked that he was home again, but I was so mad that he had done this. I could literally feel my moms wave a relief when she saw him. They had to take my brother back to his friends house to get his things cause through all the excitement they forgot that little detail.

Once my brother was home and settled I decided it was time for me to go home.  When I got home I put my children to bed. And helped my husband look for some batteries. During all of this all I could think was “he is home, he is home, he is finally home”. I couldn’t believe it. It was surreal. The last couple days had felt like weeks. It was like a part of me was missing. When I thought back to all the times I saw my mom cry cause my brother wasn’t home it broke my heart. It made me mad at him even more. Even after seeing him this evening I find it hard to believe that he is home. I still have not talked to him, or hugged him. But I am sure that once I wrap my head around everything that happened and figure out what I want to say to him then things will go back to normal with us.

I just hope he gets through these teenage years in once piece. He is such a great kid, weird, but greatly so. Out of all my siblings he is my favorite. Throughout this whole ordeal all I could think was that this pain will never end. It was terrifying thinking he was out there, with no idea about what he was doing. I don’t know all the details behind why he left and I am sure I will be filled in (but you guys won’t cause that’s a private family matter). But all that matters right now is that he is home and safe. I know my parents are going to try their best to help him in anyway they can. I just pray that my brother wants and accepts their help. I also hope that he never does this again. But, my little brother is home!

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