A Derailed Train

Hello my faithful readers. I am truly sorry I have not been writing lately. Things at home have been crazy, like usual. But this time it is for the good.

I have been going to school for the last two months. I started at the end of March and now here I am, almost done with my first quarter. It has truly been an amazing ride. I am going to school to get my Associates in Business to pursue a career that I seem  fit to do and that I love.  But along the way my daily and weekly things have fallen behind because school, children and dinner come first. So I am sorry to say that I have not been working out as much as I should ( I am down to at least once a week for a workout and once a week for a walk) and I have not been watching what I eat closely. Just last night I ate half a bag of chips. It is bad, I know. But nothing I can’t fix.

I know I could do better, I know that it is not as hard as it seems to watch what I eat. Dinner is not so bad. I always make sure we have a meat and vegetables (been eating a lot of pork lately). It is the meals before that. The only thing I eat for breakfast is coffee, an average of one cup a morning. Then I have lunch anywhere between noon and 2pm.  It is not always healthy. Then comes the snacking between lunch and getting dinner on the table. I have even slipped and started eating candy again, and my skin is paying for it. I normally would not divulge this information because that would mean I was not being true to myself and I would have to face that. But am I being true to myself if I go on this journey by myself? If I can’t be honest with my readers then I feel I can’t be honest with myself.

Unfortunately my eating habit is not the only problem. I have not been working out. With my school schedule it makes it impossible to go to my fitness group. So I have been trying to at least go by myself twice a week. Monday and Wednesdays are supposed to be workout days because I only have one class, so once it is over I head to the gym and get on the elliptical for about half an hour. Honestly I do feel better on the days that I do make it. But there have been days where other things seem more important. Whether it is an errand that needs to be done or my babysitter who can’t stay as long as I need. Either way I am not getting the work out I need.

But I have been walking with our group fairly regularly. I have missed a couple here and there but not too many. And Monster is still doing swim lessons so at least I get to wade from one side of the pool to the other while holding him, and boy is he getting heavy.  Still, things could be better, and I want them to get better. I am just not sure how to go about it. I guess I could start by seeing where all my spare time is going. I know I spend way too much time on my Kindle playing games. That is a huge waste of time, most of the time. And I could go to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier to get more things done.

I guess I should write down the things I do outside of my daily “to do” list and see where I can make the changes. Even if it is preparing dinner in the morning so it won’t take so long, or leaving earlier to get a workout in before school. And really finding ways to incorporate food into my schedule and making them hearty meals that will stick with me and be good for me and not just be convenient.

Either way I am glad I have my readers. And if you have any suggestions please feel free to comment. I could really use any help I can. I have never had to go to school and take care of children so this is all new to me.

Now that I have told you my little sob story I am going to lay down my super bad news. I stepped onto the scale this morning. Same way I do it ALL the time. Early in the morning, right after I go potty but before I get my coffee. What I saw not only shocked me but made me realize how much I have slipped. It made me so ashamed of myself that I had to account for my actions with my dedicated readers. And what I saw also made me want to get back on track really bad, which also made me grateful that I will be taking Physical Education next quarter (but I am not going to wait until then to take action). Ok, this takes a lot of guts to tell you all because it means I have slipped bad. Two weeks ago when I weighed myself I was 198, not to bad since I have been balancing between that and 199. Give or take an ounce or two. But this morning when I stepped on the scale I weighed in at 203.4. Give or take an ounce.

I am super ashamed of myself. I never wanted to be over 200 pounds again. I know I was taking chances with just being 199, but at least I had not gone over my limit. So here is my plan of action. I am going to look more closely at my schedule and make the changes needed in order to get a workout four times a week. I am going to start with 30 minute increments of workouts and then if applicable go up to an hour. Next I am going to work on my eating habits. I am going to eat breakfast and have three snacks during the day that are filling, healthy and quick, then when dinner comes around I will pay attention to my serving sizes. I am also going to stop eating an hour before bed. I am going to start going to bed at an earlier time so that I may get up early to start my day.

I am more determined than ever to change and I want it really bad. I just need to keep that in mind when I rearrange my schedule or I grab a bite to eat. I need to spend less time on games and more time making sure I have everything, like a good snack and water. At least I can say that through all of this I have been sticking to my two cups of coffee a day and no more. I’m not even buying coffee as much as I used to.

So I am going to get back on track and lose the weight and get healthy. I am going to work out and watch what I eat. And most of all I am going to use my Fitbit Flex to its full capacity.

Here is to getting back on track and getting healthy again. Next time I write I will have lost weight, even if it is just a pound.

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