Who I am and why I’m here

I am a 24 year old mother of three (only 1 is mine though).  I married the man of my dreams, a man that I have had a crush on since I was 10 years old.  It has been a whirlwind of events.  Shortly after we got married I got pregnant, nine months later I have a baby boy.  But when I got with my husband I let my entire life go.  Everything I used to do.  Clubbing, Partying, living with roommates, and go on random trips.  I thought I would miss it. I thought eventually I would resent my husband for it.  In truth I am glad I let go of it. I always knew I was meant for something bigger and better.  And when I actually thought about my old life I found it was empty.  Clubbing led to sleepless nights which resulted in a never ending day at work cause I was so sluggish.  Roommates where drama cause I am the sort of person who likes things neat and tidy and a certain way.  The partying was fun, as long as it wasn’t at my house, and the random trips meant I was exploring.  Both of which I can do with my family but on a different level.

What I didn’t realize is that letting go of my old life I was letting go of who I was. Or a part of myself who defined who I was for so long. I had a ton of distractions between then and now.  I was getting married so I had that to distract me.  Then it was being pregnant and running a household. Nine months later it was caring for an infant while keeping the house running.  And the final distraction was my gall bladder surgery in October.  But once I was cleared by the Doctor to go about my normal life (with a steady handle on my diet), I had no idea where to go from there.

I was out of distractions.  Now I am stuck with the question, who am I now?  The usual is still there, I still have the same favorite colors, foods, books and music.  But it is the deeper stuff that I have not figured out.  So that is why I am blogging. I am here to discover who I am, besides just a mother and wife.  I blog about my days, my dreams and things that pop into my head, on top of the Challenges given. So far I have found out that optimism is hard to hold onto unless you have faith in something. My faith is that everything happens for a reason and we can make the best out of anything that comes our way.  But there has to be more then that. I also blog to find comfort in the fact that I am not in this alone. I am not the only step mother, or first time mom all in the same year.  I am not the only one who has a significant other who is the polar opposite of them yet they make the marriage work and still be happy.

So far I can tell you that I know my favorite colors are purple, dark green, and all shades of blue. I love to wear camo of almost all types (woodland is my most favorite). I prefer to read books that help me and books that let me escape this world into another one.  I love country music and anything I can move my hips to.  One new thing is my love for working out.  That is new since being married.  It is a small step but at least it is a start.

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One Reply to “Who I am and why I’m here”

  1. What a beautiful introduction! You are very thoughtful and sincere, I really appreciate how you look at your pre-marriage years with such maturity and smarts. You’re definitely doing the right thing, staying positive and proactive about your marriage, and pursuing who you are at the same time. There is a stretch of time needed for transitioning from who you were into you you are now, lots of thought into who you are, what are your goals for your family, your life, your spare time, trying to identify new activities that bring you personal satisfaction and also fit into the boundaries of a happy marriage… take your time and explore, and dont be afraid to change your mind as you go along! I guess you can tell I’ve been there, too, and blogging is so great to give you a personal space to share your fun as you explore. Greetings from Egypt! ♥♥♥ ;^)

    Like

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